h: 36 x w: 48 inches
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Recently a friend of mine has taken to commenting on how innocent I am. Although I dispute aspects of that assertion, I mean how can someone who frequently showed up to high school drunk really be called innocent, I can't ignore the fact that in someways I am about as innocent as fresh ivory snow. I think this is rooted in a degree of ambivalence on my part when I came to the more carnal of things. Drugs and alcohol always did it for me, but sex was too much work. This has resulted in me being an unabashed 30 yr old virgin. However, as I get older I do sometimes wonder what I might be missing, not as much from an hormonal / orgasmic standpoint but more from an intimacy standpoint. The truth is that even the most social of drugs are in the end a selfish experience. Drugs don't make you want to share, you don't get higher by sharing your pot with your friends. However, beyond the fact that sex requires two people I am apt to believe that by it''s very nature sex actually benefits from giving as opposed to taking. Sex is a binary experience, it is all about give and take. I guess what I am saying is that as I get older and begin to find more value in things like community and fraternity I am beginning to desire the intimacy that only sex can create. This thinking inspired this piece which is ultimately about my extremely late sexual awakening and all the excitement and anxiety that produces in me.