Friday, December 11, 2009

Contact (Can't I Get Some)

Acrylic On Canvas
h: 36 x w: 48 inches
$700.00 + Shipping

I painted this painting recently when I was in a place of real despair. I have a long history of mental illness and I have struggled with depression most of my life. Art always came easy to me, but human relationships have always been like pulling teeth. I am beginning to think that the reason I struggle so much with people is because more than anything all I ever really wanted was a simple normal life with a wife, a dog and 2.5 kids. I have travelled all over the world, hung out with my heroes and the thing I really wanted was to be just a regular guy. I think that has caused me to be over eager and to try too hard in social and romantic situations. Whereas painting comes as naturally to me as breathing, people and relationships are a real struggle. I'm beginning to understand that the reason paintings are easy for me is because when I pick up a brush I know what I'm doing. With people, especially women I like and respect all I can think about is what it would be like to be married to them and to have a simple, domestic life. I'm never in the moment and I think that makes me seems equal parts severe and alienating. Anyway, this painting is about the process of me trying to figure this all out. I hope to continue to explore this process on canvas.

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